


Catz the Musical

by emit98



Category: Shrek (Movies), Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: Anal, Cunnilingus, Dominatrix, F/F, F/M, Multi, NSFW, Oral, Pegging, elphussy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 18:02:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13300296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emit98/pseuds/emit98
Summary: After escaping the land of Oz, Elphaba and Fiyero stumble upon a swamp... And Elphaba stumbles upon the new love of her life.For Max and the Trans Discord Chat <3 Thank you for supporting me.





	Catz the Musical

Elphaba and Fiyero had been walking for hours through thick forest. Fiyero was fine, because he was now a scarecrow and not a real human, but Elphaba was still human or whatever. 

“I think we should stop for a rest soon,” Elphaba said.

“Why?” Fiyero asked. “I’m fine.”

Elphaba scoffed.

“What?” Fiyero asked.

“Nothing,” Elphaba said. 

“Tell me,” Fiyero said.

“Look… You’re great, but you’re literally made of straw and we already figured out you can’t feel things as well as you used to… So you may not need to rest but I’m exhausted,” Elphaba said.

“…Oh,” Fiyero said. “Well, there’s a clearing just ahead. How about we go there and I’ll use my master survival skills to build a tent?”

“What master survival skills?” Elphaba asked with a scoff. 

“…Shut up, Elphaba,” Fiyero muttered to himself. 

“Sorry,” Elphaba said. “Rich asshole,” she muttered under her breath. 

They reached the clearing, and Fiyero groaned as he stepped into a puddle of mud.

“Aw, we can’t camp out here,” Fiyero said. “It’s a swamp!”

“Oh, but look!” Elphaba said. “There’s a house!” She pointed towards the house in the middle of the swamp.

“I don’t wanna sleep in a swamp!” Fiyero whined.

“Too bad,” Elphaba said. She trudged through the swamp as Fiyero bitched about it and went to the house in the swamp. There were no lights on and the door was unlocked, so she let herself in.

“This place is a dump,” Fiyero said. 

“Would you rather sleep in the middle of a forest?” Elphaba asked.

“I don’t need to sleep,” Fiyero replied. 

“Then you can keep walking. I need my beauty rest,” Elphaba said.

“You’re already beautiful enough,” Fiyero said.

“Fiyero… That’s gay,” Elphaba replied. 

Fiyero sighed. “Go to sleep, Elphaba.”

After a bit of exploring, Elphaba found a bed. She laid down and almost immediately fell asleep.

Elphaba awoke several hours later. Fiyero was sitting on the edge of the bed, bored out of his mind. 

A sudden idea entered her mind. 

“Hey,” she said. “Wanna make use of this bed with me?”

Fiyero perked up. “You mean sex?”

Elphaba nodded. 

The two kissed for a bit until Fiyero’s straw wiener got hard.

The thing about being a scarecrow who was originally a human was that Fiyero DID still have a dick. Most people who make scarecrows don’t put dicks on them, because what practical use does a standard scarecrow have for a dick? None, that’s what. But also, Fiyero’s dick was little more than a bundle of straw tied together. Elphaba found out the hard way that getting fucked by it was far from pleasant.

Once they were done, Elphaba laid in bed with her legs spread, trying to pick all the bits of straw out of her Elphussy. 

“You got straw all in my Elphussy,” Elphaba said.

“Your what???” Fiyero asked.

“My Elphussy.” She pointed to her Elphussy.

“Well, at least I didn’t get green Elphussy juice all over you,” Fiyero muttered.

“I can’t help it that I have a yeast infection, asshole!” Elphaba said.

“God, I wish condoms were invented and easily accessible,” Fiyero said.

“How can you wish something was invented by name like that?” Elphaba asked.

“I don’t know! How can you be green?” Fiyero asked. 

“Racist!” Elphaba said accusingly. 

“Sorry,” Fiyero said. “Go back to sleep.”

“Fine.” Elphaba went back to sleep, flicking the last piece of Elphussy straw at Fiyero out of spite.

She was awoken by a mighty roar that sent chills down her spine and straight to her Elphussy.

“WHAT ARE YE DOIN’ IN MAH SWAMP?” 

Fiyero was cowering in fear underneath a large man. Elphaba watched, eyes wide. This dude was HOT. 

The large man lifted Fiyero and threw him as Fiyero screamed. It was met by a chorus of what sounded like babies crying.

“Shrek, you’re scaring the kids!” A feminine voice said from the other room. 

Elphaba got up. “Excuse me,” she said.

“WHAT?” The large man said to her in a Scottish accent.

Elphaba felt her Elphussy quiver. “Why are you being so rude?”

“Because yeh broke into me house,” Shrek said in a Scottish accent.

Fiona walked into the room, holding one of the ogre babies who’s names bear no relevance to the story whatsoever so I’m not gonna bother looking it up. 

“Shrek,” Fiona said, turning on a light because fuck it, they have indoor electricity. 

Elphaba’s Elphussy was shaking when she saw that this large man was sexier in the light, plus green. She had never seen another green person before… And she never expected she would see one that made her Elphussy drip green yeast infected Elphussy juice like a dog with rabies. 

“What?” Shrek asked in a Scottish accent.

“At least let them explain themselves before you go on another rampage,” the lady ogre said. Elphaba’s view of her was blocked by Shrek’s large, sexy body.

“Fiona!” Shrek said in an exasperated tone with a Scottish accent. “They broke into our home!”

“I’m sure they have their reasons,” Fiona said.

“Uh… Yeah…” Elphaba said. “See, my…” She stopped. How should she describe Fiyero? Were they official? Did she want them to be? She didn’t, because at that moment, she would do anything to ride Shrek’s cock. “…Friend and I, we kinda ran away after faking our own deaths… And I was tired…”

“See, Shrek?” Fiona said, going closer to Shrek. “She was tired!” 

Elphaba got full view of Fiona, and her Elphussy quivered more. Fiona was beautiful and sexy, just like Shrek. Not to mention green. 

“We can go,” Elphaba offered. “Or… I can stay and pay you back for the time I spent here…” She placed her hand on Shrek’s chest. She looked down, and saw Shrek’s ogre cock grow hard in his pants.

“Uh…” Shrek said in a Scottish accent. He knew in that moment he wanted Elphaba. But he was married… 

“Shrek… I’m gonna go bring the kids to my mom’s,” Fiona said. “I’ll be back soon.”

Fiona left, taking the irrelevant ogre children with her.

Shrek waited until his wife was out before kissing Elphaba.

Kissing Shrek was like nothing Elphaba ever experienced. He had big hands, a big mouth, and his kiss was hot and delicious. She pressed her hips to Shrek’s, letting out a moan when she felt his ogre cock pulsate under his pants. 

“I want you,” Elphaba whispered into his ear before biting it sensually.

“Um…” Fiyero said from outside the bedroom. 

Shrek slammed the door, then pushed Elphaba down on the bed. He ripped open her dress.

“That’s my only piece of clothing, but whatever,” Elphaba said.

“Good, because I don’t wanna see you with it on again,” Shrek said with a Scottish accent, referring to how sexy Elphaba was while naked. 

“No, for real, it’s rude to just rip someone’s clothes off,” Elphaba said.

“We’ll get you new ones, don’t worry,” Shrek promised with a Scottish accent before grabbing Elphaba’s titty. He squeezed it then went to kiss her some more. 

Elphaba moved her hands downwards to take off Shrek’s pants. When she finally managed to, she felt like a large, uncut salami sausage was smacking her. She pulled away from the kiss to look down. Shrek’s cock was about twelve inches long and as thick as Elphaba’s thigh. His balls were the size of ostritch eggs, covered in thick pubic hair. Compared to Fiyero’s borderline twinky build, Elphaba was more than thrilled.

“Fuck me,” Elphaba begged. “Fuck me in my Elphussy…”

“Your what?” Shrek asked with a Scottish accent. 

Elphaba pointed down to her Elphussy.

“Oh. Why do ye call it that?” Shrek asked with a Scottish accent.

“Because my name’s Elphaba,” Elphaba said.

“Oh,” Shrek said with a Scottish accent.

Elphaba spread her legs, and Shrek slid the tip of his ogre cock inside of her Elphussy. Elphaba gasped and gripped the sheets. She felt like she was being ripped apart a Shrek slid in deeper. She absolutely loved it.

Somehow, Shrek managed to get all the way inside of Elphaba. If this was real life, she would probably be dead, but this isn’t real life, it’s just fantasy, caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.

Shrek started thrusting. 

“Ugh, your Elphussy is so tight,” Shrek moaned out in a Scottish accent.

“Your ogre cock is so big,” Elphaba moaned back.

“That’s because it has layers,” Shrek said in a Scottish accent.

Soon, Shrek felt a pleasant sensation on his balls, like they were being licked. He moaned louder, eyes shut.

“I don’t know how yer doin’ that but keep goin’,” Shrek moaned out in a Scottish accent.

“I’m just kinda laying here,” Elphaba said.

“Then who’s licking my…” Shrek turned around in a Scottish accent. His small grey horse-like friend was there, licking away.

“DoNKEY!” Shrek yelled out in a Scottish accent. “We’ve been through this!”

“Sorry, Shrek,” Donkey said. “Your balls are just salty and I crave that mineral.”

Shrek kicked Donkey in the face for referencing a meme that was already old and overused even though it technically wouldn’t exist yet.

“Hey, did Fiona finally drop the baby weight?” Donkey asked when he saw Elphaba laying in the bed.

“No, this is Elphaba,” Shrek said in a Scottish accent.

“WHAT? YOU’RE CHEATING ON FIONA?” Donkey screamed out. “SHE’S THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU, SHREK! DON’T DO IT!”

“It’s not cheating if ye have socks on,” Shrek said in a Scottish accent.

“You never wear socks!” Donkey said.

“…How did ye even get into meh house?” Shrek asked in a Scottish accent. He wanted to change the subject but also he wanted to know.

“The straw twink let me in,” Donkey said.

“Fiyero,” Elphaba said with a sigh. “He’s a cuck…”

“Are you gonna cheat on Fiona with him next, Shrek?” Donkey demanded. “Are you gonna claim that it only counts if the balls touch or whatever? Are you bishreksual, Shrek?”

“Donkey, I swear to god,” Shrek said with a sigh with a Scottish accent. “Either keep licking my balls or LEAVE.”

Donkey rolled his eyes but went back to licking Shrek’s salty ogre balls. 

Shrek went back to fucking Elphaba good and hard. He came shortly, with both the sexy woman underneath him and the stimulation to his salty ogre balls. To Elphaba, his cum felt big and round, almost like a big ball was going inside her. He pulled out of her and sighed in a Scottish accent.

“I didn’t cum yet,” Elphaba said with a frown.

“Well, yer on yer own for that,” Shrek said in a Scottish accent.

“Asshole,” Elphaba muttered, reaching down to rub her Elphussy.

“I can help!” Donkey said, getting on the bed. He started licking her Elphussy. 

Elphaba moaned as Donkey’s surprisingly skilled tongue dipped in and out of her Elphussy. Soon, she came with a scream. 

Just as Elphaba screamed, Fiona came in, now without the irrelevant ogre babies.

“Honey, I’m home,” she called out.

Donkey started losing his shit.

“SHREK DEFINITELY ISN’T HAVING AN AFFAIR,” Donkey yelled out.

“Donkey!” Shrek said in a Scottish accent. “Shut up!”

Fiona walked in. She looked at the naked Elphaba, then at the naked Shrek.

“Shrek…” Fiona frowned. 

Shrek mentally prepared himself for the worst.

“…You couldn’t wait for me to come home?” Fiona asked.

“What do yeh mean?” Shrek asked in a Scottish accent.

“I thought we were gonna have a threesome!” Fiona said.

Shrek’s eyes widened. “Yeh did?” He asked in a Scottish accent.

Fiona nodded. “Why else would I be bringing the kids to my mom’s house?”

Shrek smiled warmly and he kissed Fiona. “I love you so much,” he said in a Scottish accent.

Fiona wasn’t happy, though. “This isn’t fair!” She said.

“I can go for another round,” Elphaba said, her previous orgasm rather unsatisfying. 

“Me, too!” Donkey said.

“Me three,” Shrek said in a Scottish accent.

Elphaba noticed Fiyero sitting outside the bedroom, looking depressed.

“Hey, Fiyero?” She called out.

Fiyero perked up. “Yeah?”

Elphaba smiled. “Wanna join us?”

He jumped up. “Boy, would I!”

“Great!” Fiona said. “I’ll get the toys!” She went into the closet and pulled out a box of sex toys, ranging from strap-ons to vibrators to handcuffs. Fiona stripped down, revealing her full, beautiful breasts with dark green nipples, and then she put the strap-on on. All three men and Elphaba drooled at the sight.

“Who wants it first?” Fiona asked in a sensual voice.

Everyone raised their hand.

Fiona eyed Fiyero. “You,” she said, pointing to him.

“Me?” Fiyero asked.

“Him?” Elphaba, Donkey, and Shrek asked, Shrek with a Scottish accent.

“Him,” Fiona confirmed. 

Fiyero walked over to her, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. The strap-on was sparkly pink, and just as big as Shrek’s cock. He bent over the bed.

The thing about being a scarecrow meant that Fiyero didn’t really have an anus anymore. He just had straw that had nerve endings. So Fiona shoved the strap-on into the straw. Fiyero screamed out as she thrusted into him like he was the McDonald’s clown.

Fiona kept going and the rest watched with wide-eyed fascination. Soon, an explosion of straw bits came out of his straw cock. Elphaba winced as she thought about how bad that felt in her Elphussy.

After Fiyero, Fiona did Donkey, also in the ass. He was far more vocal than Fiyero, screaming and making comments the entire time.

Then came Shrek.

“Wanna sit on his face while I fuck him?” Fiona asked Elphaba.

“That sounds lovely,” Elphaba said. She positioned herself over Shrek’s mouth, and then she sank down onto him as Fiona slid the strap-on in him. Fiona was relentless, and Shrek was pretty vocal. 

“Harder!” He moaned against Elphaba’s Elphussy in a Scottish accent.

Fiona went harder, and Elphaba was soon groaning as her Elphussy was ate. She came thee times while riding Shrek’s face, both from the sounds he was making and from the visual stimulation. She came a fourth and final time when Shrek came, his ogre cock exploding out spouts of cum, nearly hitting the ceiling. 

Fiona pulled out, and then she took the strap-on off. “Move, please,” she said to Elphaba.

Elphaba obliged, and then Fiona took Elphaba’s seat. 

“Jerk him off,” Fiona said to Elphaba. 

Shrek moaned with a Scottish accent from underneath Fiona, just at the mere anticipation.

Elphaba wrapped both her hands around Shrek’s ogre cock. She started stroking him slowly. Shrek let out a lively moan in a Scottish accent, already overstimulated. She kept going as Fiona rocked her hips on Shrek’s face. Shrek came again, not as hard as before. Fiona came afterwards, moaning as she squirted in Shrek’s face.

They all settled down, Donkey and Fiyero asleep on the floor and Fiona, Shrek, and Elphaba laying in bed. 

“Shrek, honey, isn’t it your time of the month?” Fiona asked.

“What?” Elphaba frowned.

“Once a month, Shrek ejaculates an egg,” Fiona explained. “If it goes into my body, I get pregnant.”

Elphaba gulped. 

“What does it feel like?” She asked.

“It feels big and round,” Fiona said. “Like a big ball going inside me.”

“Fuck!” Elphaba cried out. 

“Oh no…” Fiona frowned. “Shrek, how could you?”

“Well… You know what I always say,” Shrek said in a Scottish accent. “Better out than in.”

“She’s pregnant now!” Fiona cried out.

“It’ll be fine,” Shrek said in a Scottish accent.

“How do you know?” Elphaba asked.

“Because we’ll be here for yeh every step of the way,” Shrek said in a Scottish accent with a smile

**Author's Note:**

> To Be Continued!


End file.
